Have you ever heard about the phrase "People always want the things that they cant't get". Well, this is quite true as recently i witness it myself. Last week when she decided that everything was over, i was quite depressed and upset. I did not have much appetite to even eat. Everything was down. I look stupid !! But she on the other hand looks normal. That's what make me pis off. But now, when i finally go out of the depressed stage and start having fun. I started saying will let go and forget everything. Its her turn to be crazy. So what does this mean?? She still wants me?? But anyhow, i wont turn back just because of some post on facebook. All that just give me meaningless hope. If i turn back due to just a few words posted on facebook, then i am a damn big idiot with a pig brains. It will have to be more than that to win me over. For now, i will continue with my healing process without caring for anything. Gambateh Mitchy. Enjoy & have fun with your life XD
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Failure
Well, based on my previous post, i suppose anyone reading this blog knows quite well that i'm into this girl. Well, congratz me for another fail attempt to be in a relationship. After 4-5 months of woo-ing and chasing, everything just ended just like that. How am i feeling?? More devastated than previous fail attempt. I did everything and i did my best. I tried to be caring but it was never enough. I tried to be less aggressive than previous one but still fail. What am i doing wrong here i wonder? Has the world begun to be realistic that nowadays girls only see money, good looks and future prospect? if that the case, i think i will be single forever.
Everyday is an emotional day for me but because of work and image, i control myself. Putting on a smiling mask, i faced everyone perfectly fine but inside i am still bleeding. Everyone keep ask me to let go but saying is easy, doing it is damn hard because i know letting this gal will be my biggest regret. I know she is a good girl, but its too bad i meet her at the wrong time. Every morning i wake up and the first image came true my eyes is her reflection. Everything i do reminds me of her. I see coffee i think of her as she likes drinking coffee. I see seaside directly in front of my hostel i see her because that was our 3rd date there. I see a white black cat i think her cos during a 3rd date we said that cat look like a cow. I see a blue black i remember all the times she pinch me on the hand. I even confuse her between my dream and my real life. I really wish to be her side now but i can't. Not i don' want too but i really can't. I hate myself for that.
Now that everything is over, she is beginning to move on but here i am still stuck in the past. I wan to hate her to forget her but i can't cos i know she is good inside. I tried to be angry with her but i cant cos i know she never did anything wrong. So all i can do is hate myself. I want to be with her but i was force to stop. I was force to stop loving her and this kills me. I even smoked because i could not handle the pressure. I know i know, im just a pathetic loser. But i seriously feels she is the right one for me. Maybe i am not the right one for her.
Previously in April when one of my recron bro resign, i decided i would resign too but since i have got feelings for her, i decided to stay back just to be with her. Now everything is no more, i aggressively searching for a new job. I can't stand being in the same office as she is. Everything i look at her or hear her name, my heart go crazy. No one understands me, all of them keep asking me to let go let go let go and for god sake, im trying my best and i can't do it if all of you keep remind me of her. Nowadays every friend got their own life, no more as previously where we can share anything. Now we just have to deal everything by our self. Its hard but i'm sure i can do it. Today i remembered one of my dad discussion with my elder bro. He used to say that some people study till high up the tree but brain still like pig brains. Maybe i am one of them too. I feel so stupid of myself and whatever i am doing right now. Damn......
Everyday is an emotional day for me but because of work and image, i control myself. Putting on a smiling mask, i faced everyone perfectly fine but inside i am still bleeding. Everyone keep ask me to let go but saying is easy, doing it is damn hard because i know letting this gal will be my biggest regret. I know she is a good girl, but its too bad i meet her at the wrong time. Every morning i wake up and the first image came true my eyes is her reflection. Everything i do reminds me of her. I see coffee i think of her as she likes drinking coffee. I see seaside directly in front of my hostel i see her because that was our 3rd date there. I see a white black cat i think her cos during a 3rd date we said that cat look like a cow. I see a blue black i remember all the times she pinch me on the hand. I even confuse her between my dream and my real life. I really wish to be her side now but i can't. Not i don' want too but i really can't. I hate myself for that.
Now that everything is over, she is beginning to move on but here i am still stuck in the past. I wan to hate her to forget her but i can't cos i know she is good inside. I tried to be angry with her but i cant cos i know she never did anything wrong. So all i can do is hate myself. I want to be with her but i was force to stop. I was force to stop loving her and this kills me. I even smoked because i could not handle the pressure. I know i know, im just a pathetic loser. But i seriously feels she is the right one for me. Maybe i am not the right one for her.
Previously in April when one of my recron bro resign, i decided i would resign too but since i have got feelings for her, i decided to stay back just to be with her. Now everything is no more, i aggressively searching for a new job. I can't stand being in the same office as she is. Everything i look at her or hear her name, my heart go crazy. No one understands me, all of them keep asking me to let go let go let go and for god sake, im trying my best and i can't do it if all of you keep remind me of her. Nowadays every friend got their own life, no more as previously where we can share anything. Now we just have to deal everything by our self. Its hard but i'm sure i can do it. Today i remembered one of my dad discussion with my elder bro. He used to say that some people study till high up the tree but brain still like pig brains. Maybe i am one of them too. I feel so stupid of myself and whatever i am doing right now. Damn......
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Confused @@
Recently i just realize woman are just hard to understand especially if you are fond of them. Currently i am infatuated with someone which i am not suppose to. Well i know the risk but i cant seem to stop myself cos i go head over heels whenever she is around. Haiz, headache. Previously i had several fail attempt to woo woman so now i am just too afraid to do anything. Based on previous experience, i am scared that i am too aggressive, over caring and etc... So now, again i saw someone which i like but i dont know how to handle it. People always say be yourself but how i know which one is myself? Currently few questions run through my mind.
1. Does she feels the same? Or she just treat me as just a friend?
2. Do we have a future?
3. Am i doing the right thing?
4. Is it worth trying for?
Actually we are communicating just fine. We started of as normal hi bye friend then started fb commenting, and then to msn-ing and then sms-ing. All i can say is that we chat a lot. Whats bothering me is i cant get her out of my head. Damn, totally addicted to her...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Time Flies
Wow, its been almost 2 years since i last blog. My last post was in 2009. Damn long ago liao lo. I think no ppl come in and see already. Don't say other people, the owner of the blog itself Mr Handsome Mit also never enter and see. What to do. People busy ma....haha
Ok, quick update since my last post..
1. Found a job in Melaka (Recron Malaysia Sdn Bhd)
2. Still single and available.
3. Still poor as ever.
4. Got a new bunch of friends (hmmm)
5. Improve in social skills (no more shy)
Well, this is all the update which i can think of. Working life, everyday is the same. Nothing changes. Well, i start my blog again with a simple post nia ba.. Will try to post later. Now weather too hot to think.
Oh ya, last thing to update u all
내가 내가 누군가에 대한 감정 것 같아^^
Monday, September 7, 2009
Jobless...
Haiz, its been 2 or 3 month since i graduated from MMU. Most of my friends already got their job and started working while i am still unemployed staying at home doing nothing. Is it so damn hard to find a job?? i emailed lots of company and they never mail me back. Is it because my result is so poor?? Or is it my resume sucks to the max?? Could never understand. I'm begginning to think that i will never get a job....
This few weeks, my moral and confident is getting low. Why?? Maybe because me and my friends applied for a same company and she got the interview while i still waiting for them to call me to the damn fucking interview. Everyday i check my mail and there is ntg inside. It make me feel so fucking disappointed. I dont think my parent can stand it anymore either. Once a while they will ask me about it but i know they wan me to faster get a job as our family is facing financial crisis. Damn.
Maybe i never try hard enough to get a job. Gambateh Mitchy. I will try even more harder now. Hopefully there is some luck left in me....
This few weeks, my moral and confident is getting low. Why?? Maybe because me and my friends applied for a same company and she got the interview while i still waiting for them to call me to the damn fucking interview. Everyday i check my mail and there is ntg inside. It make me feel so fucking disappointed. I dont think my parent can stand it anymore either. Once a while they will ask me about it but i know they wan me to faster get a job as our family is facing financial crisis. Damn.
Maybe i never try hard enough to get a job. Gambateh Mitchy. I will try even more harder now. Hopefully there is some luck left in me....
Hello Again
Hello Again To those who are a fan of my blog....
I am officially opening my blog again due to my inability to express my sadness and and feelings to the ppl i know.....
Hopefully i am able to express it here...tq
I am officially opening my blog again due to my inability to express my sadness and and feelings to the ppl i know.....
Hopefully i am able to express it here...tq
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Exam Exam Exam
Wahaha, exam is just around the corner..Actually just finish one this mornin...hahaha....I think i cant use exam as the excuse of not updating my blog because my first paper is today and my last post was in april. The gap too far already to use that excuse. Lol. If i got any fan for my blog, i think they would have run away already since no news so long. Nvm la, since i am sitting relaxing while trying to restore my energy after my first paper this mornin, i think i'll just write a small post.
This is my final exam already for me in MMU, yippee. This mornin for the first time i study till my eyes gone red. i guess i really concentrated. Spent the whole nite in mcd from 8pm till 8am. 12 hours there. I guess Mcd workers see also also angry already because keep see us only. Somemore, we keep top up the coke. Not bad. Haha. Who cares, we did buy something to eat also wat =P
Had my FSA paper this morning, actually the paper was easy but i forget some of the key points so i think i screw up a bit. Hopefully its ok and give me a pass. Ok la, gotta to restore the rest of my energy at my bed ady. Goodluck to all my frens and all the best ya..Dont be lazy or i'll kick ur ass!! hahaha...Over and out!!
This is my final exam already for me in MMU, yippee. This mornin for the first time i study till my eyes gone red. i guess i really concentrated. Spent the whole nite in mcd from 8pm till 8am. 12 hours there. I guess Mcd workers see also also angry already because keep see us only. Somemore, we keep top up the coke. Not bad. Haha. Who cares, we did buy something to eat also wat =P
Had my FSA paper this morning, actually the paper was easy but i forget some of the key points so i think i screw up a bit. Hopefully its ok and give me a pass. Ok la, gotta to restore the rest of my energy at my bed ady. Goodluck to all my frens and all the best ya..Dont be lazy or i'll kick ur ass!! hahaha...Over and out!!
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